Advice for Girls by Girls
Hi there! Asking for advice is a great way to get help when you need it. And did you know that you can get advice from other girls your age through New Moon Girls Ask a Girl advice column?
Through Ask a Girl, girls just like you, write in with questions or problems they have, and other girls give the advice to help them out. It’s a safe and supportive way to get help from people who understand what you’re going through. So if you have a question or problem, don’t be afraid to ask for advice from other girls!
Do you want advice from other girls?
Advice by girls, for girls. Get ideas and support from other girls your age. Questions and answers appear here after they are reviewed by a moderator. And remember: some questions and answers are chosen for each New Moon Girls Magazine issue!
Ask a Girl: Tips for Dealing with Irritation Towards Family and Others
Answer this Question from EmpressElora, 13, NC
During quarantine, I’ve become really annoyed with other people, especially my family. Even though I’m just trying to say how I feel, they act hurt and/or angry. How can I deal with being annoyed in a way that won’t affect others? ~Empress Elora, 13, NC
Ask a Girl Answered: Advice from Tween and Teen Girls FOR Tween and Teen Girls
Ask a Girl Answered: Creative Ways to Participate in Performing Arts with Covid Restrictions
Ask a Girl Question from Eleanor, 13
Dear Ask a Girl, During Covid, it’s hard to get involved in activities. I love acting, so I do things like film, theater, voice, and dancing. I don’t know how I can get involved during such a challenging time. I did one musical over Zoom, but it wasn’t the same. Do you have any suggestions? ~Eleanor, 13
Advice for Eleanor
I also love acting and theatre. I tried doing online theatre, and it was really frustrating. One thing I did was find 6-8 friends who had the same interests as me. We all got covid-tested and met in my backyard. There are a bunch of really awesome acting teachers which you should ask your parents about. We found two amazing ones, and we performed 3 musicals and did voice training. I hope this helps! ~Arden, 11, CA
This pandemic is a tough time, and it prevents us from doing things the way we are accustomed to. But it also gives us opportunities to try new things and explore different ways of doing the things we already love! Though physically apart we don’t actually have to be “socially distant”. Look for online communities of people that do what you do, and/or love what you love, and plan something with them.
Find virtual activities/competitions and physical events and activities that you can attend safely. Get together with your family and put on a play or film your own television/YouTube show. Don’t stop doing what you love. Break a leg(Good luck), Eleanor! I hope this helps. Remember, when in doubt…IMPROVISE! ~Amanda, 14, US
You’re right; Zoom isn’t as fun. I totally get that: I quit most of my dance classes because I just wasn’t enjoying any of them. Some of my friends and I have been doing a lot of filmmaking during quarantine. In fact, we just had a premiere of our biggest project today! Everybody loved it. it’s a great way to stay connected and have fun. A lot of my friends text me just to ask me if I’ve made any more movies! And all you need is a device and some actors! (aka, siblings, parents, pets, friends, cousins….) It’s something I’d definitely suggest at least trying. ~Mar, 12, NJ
Hey, Eleanor! I totally get what you’re saying. I absolutely love performing arts too. It plays a big role in my life. There are online workshops you can take, but it costs some money. Check out Broadway Workshop, Random Farms, and A Class Act. It’s all totally worth it, and you can learn new things and grow as a performer. You could also buy some monologue books and practice your acting with those. Maybe you could even direct a show with your friends! I hope this helps! ~Lizzy, 15, NJ
During quarantine, I discovered a great app called iMovie. It is a way to create and edit movies, short films, and music videos. I also love acting and filmmaking, and I have had a lot of fun using the app with the help of my little brothers; you are great actors and very cooperative. It’s pretty simple and so much fun to make videos and share them with friends and family. ~Sophia, 11, MS
Covid is a challenging time. It is even more challenging to do the things that you enjoy. But here is something that you can do with other people over the Internet. Coding, this is a fun, challenging, and creative thing that is available for kids like you and me. There is this program called Girls Who Code, which I am actually a part of. But they have sessions where you can meet up with other girls your age and learn to code. This is just a suggestion. Hopefully, you will just try it out! ~Zyphera, 12, MI
My advice is to be creative! Figure out ways to make this work! It can get tough not being able to do fun activities in a normal matter, but it is what it is…try your best to go with the flow, and you might just have fun!
I love to dance, and once the pandemic hit, it changed everything. I also had to have practices on Zoom, and it wasn’t fun…I started losing my passion for dance, and I eventually started skipping virtual classes, which affected everything. I have some knee issues, which means when I do certain movements, it hurts and after almost 9 months of not doing anything, once I got back, I had to sit out for almost the rest of the season…don’t be like me and start to lose your passion for acting…you never know when that performance could be your last. Make it count! Get creative, go with the flow, and make it work! ~Arianah, 13, FL
During covid, it has been hard to be in activities, sports, or clubs. I think you could join some activities that take place outside or require masks. I did a musical (in-person) in February, and we all wore masks and stayed 6 feet apart. As long as your parents are okay with it, there are many options. ~Bridget, 12, NY
I totally agree. It was definently hard trying to get involved when everything was online! But maybe you could talk to your parent and meet up at a park with a family member or a friend and safely do a play or a dance with them. Even though online things like Zoom and google meet are different, we are lucky we still had/have something to do! ~Sophie, 10, PA
I feel the same way! I have done a few classes and things online, and I understand. Also seeing plays and musicals isn’t the same thing either! I recently saw a live performance of “The Music Man” on YouTube and, it…well…wasn’t the same. They only did parts of the musical, and they just sang. there was no talking! If you have any siblings or your parents would be willing to, you could do musicals in a backyard or living room. Plus, if you have any neighborhood kids or friends, you could all wear masks and do a performance outside. I know it’s hard in these times but soon enough! ~Emelia, 12, OR
I totally get this!! The same thing is happening to me! I am very lucky this summer because I get to do a socially distanced theater camp! Can you ask a parent if there are any activities like that where you are? I also have written and directed two Zoom plays! You could try that! To keep up your acting skills, you could teach your friends some Improv games to play or check out a monologue book from the library! I hope this helps! ~Natalie, 14, US
Due to this pandemic, going to theaters or joining acting classes will be risky, so whatever we want to do is to be done online only. We all face the same problem in some way or another, but we can’t lose heart. So, Eleanor, I suggest you practice different expressions and emotions at home. You can ask your guardian to check and tell if there’s a mistake. You can try different poses in front of the mirror and choose the best ones. Do care about your health and skin. You can make short videos of your acting and share them with any acting expert or teacher (if you have anyone in contact) so they may advise. Just keep on practicing regularly; I am sure you will be a great actress one day! ~Udeeta, 12, India
Ask a Girl Answered: Empowering Yourself: Embracing Body Positivity in Middle School and Overcoming Gymnophobia
Ask a Girl Question from Dah1Girl, 11, USA
Hello, Dah1Girl here. I am starting middle school next year and am afraid of shorts! Gymnophobia. It is the fear of showing skin. And I wouldn’t say I’m the skinny type of girl. So what do I really do? I’m confused. Please help me. Love y’all Dah1Girl
Advice for Dah1Girl
I understand your anxiety; I didn’t wear shorts often for quite a long time for the same reason…I was afraid to! The solution is simple but not always easy. It is…LOVE the skin that you’re in. You are not your body, but it is a part of you(A BEAUTIFUL part), and surprisingly enough to the self-conscious, it’s not your physical features most people see first; it’s your body language and the way you carry yourself. “Skinny” might be what is popular in the media, but the truth is SKINNY does not mean beautiful. LOVING YOURSELF and LOVING OTHERS is what makes you beautiful, so wear shorts that you are comfortable with, and love yourself in them. And smile at yourself in the mirror because you are Dah1Girl, and you are BEAUTIFUL, go ahead, wear those shorts, and wear them with pride.
P.S. I remember having that same experience when first starting middle school. Remember, anybody who would spend their time criticizing how you look in your GYM shorts is most likely jealous of your confidence in curves and not worth your time, mentally or physically.
P.P.S. If you are flat-out not comfortable with wearing shorts, talk to your parents and school administration, and an exception might be made.
P.P.P.S. Practice shorts-wearing during the summer, Bermuda shorts(knee-length) are my go-to and are famous for looking good on every body type and being modest.
Have a blessed day! ~Amanda, 14, US
I TOTALLY know how you feel! I get really uncomfortable and insecure. I only wear skorts (which are just skirts with shorts underneath them. Though, I do have a few pairs of skirts. Depending on where you live, the weather may be different; where I live, it’s rainy all the time. So, I don’t wear skirts often. But sometimes if I want to wear shorts, I put pants on underneath them. so maybe put on a very LIGHT pair of leggings or tights underneath, but I would recommend talking to your parent/guardian(s) about it, and they might come up with something. ~Emelia, 12, OR
Hi! Hansa here! You know, when I first wore skirts, I didn’t like them at all. I used to wear pants all the time. When summer came, It got SO hot, and I had to wear skirts! I realized I don’t have to be afraid to show my skin because it is a part of ME! So, take a deep breath, and face this fear! Trust me, At the end of the day, you’ll have a smile on your face! ~Hansa, 9, India
You certainly should not need to wear shorts. If it’s requested of you, ask a parent or trusted adult to talk to the school administration, explaining your discomfort. Revealing clothing makes me a bit uncomfortable, and I always wear skirts. Dress however you feel safe and comfortable – girls should never be pressured to wear shorts and other revealing clothing! ~Ruthy, 12, MI
I will advise you to tell your parents or guardian about your problem. They’ll surely help you out. You may visit a doctor and [learn ways] to keep your anxiety in control. Your guardian can also write an application to your school, which will make the teacher understand your problem and will surely consider it. ~Udeeta, 12, India
Ask a Girl Answered: Dealing with Stress as a Teenager: Suggestions from NMG Readers
Ask a Girl Question from Mason, 13, OR
Hi Girls! I know this question was kind of already asked, but I have to ask. I am feeling stressed out, and it’s REALLY hard. Any advice? Hugs! ~Mason, 13, OR
Your Advice for Mason:
Dear Mason, Wow, I get that! My advice is to have something in your pocket, like a small stone or a ring. When you feel yourself getting really stressed, take the stone or ring and hold it. Talking to someone about your stress helps too. Even talking to a stuffed animal can help (I call it teddy bear therapy lol). Good luck! Flossy, 13, NH
Hey, Mason! Sorry If I’m answering kind of late, but that’s my fault cause I didn’t check Ask-a-girl. Anyway, you know what I do when I’m stressed out? I take a deep breath and think, “why, why am I stressed out?” And I would recommend talking to your family member, your friend, etc. You never know; it can really help! –I’d also like to say that I was stressed out when I first started writing poems. But I remembered that my family, my friends, and you all at NMG are rooting for me, so I wrote one! It was about covid-19. So, whenever you’re under pressure, remember that we all are cheering for you!
I hope you’re feeling okay, Hansa, 9, India
[See my response to FluffyPuppy0718 for other advice]
I think your last word might be a good helper. ‘Hugs!’ you said. Hugs are actually great when I feel stressed, particularly from a parent or giving one to my dogs.
Just being able to hug someone and relax, and feel loved, is a good step to feeling less stressed.
This is a stressful time. No one can deny it. Spend time on the things you love to do, whether that be reading or cooking or gardening, or something else entirely.
Stress is difficult, and it’s hard to relax. I recommend trying to meditate or listen to music. Another tip is to lie down on a bed or couch and just try to let go. Spend time not doing anything, and spend some time doing things you enjoy.
It’ll be okay. We’re all here, and we all care about you! <3 Good luck!!!!! *Hugs* Ruthy, 12, MI
Ask a Girl Answered: You’re Not Alone: New Moon Girls Offer Support and Stress-Management Advice
Ask a Girl Question from FluffyPuppy0718, 12, OR
I’ve been feeling really stressed out lately, and I honestly don’t even know why. I’ve tried to use coping mechanisms, but they just aren’t doing it. I get that being a tween includes this kind of emotional roller coaster, but how does it get better? When does it get better? Girls, I hope you can help! I’m really having a difficult time… ~FluffyPuppy0718, 12, OR
Your Advice for FluffyPuppy0718
Hi, Stress is something that, as you said, a lot of tweens experience. And not everything works for everyone. Try around. Do things like taking deep breaths, chilling with a book, listening to music, reading through stuff on NMG (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!), and writing in a journal. Figure out what you find comforting, and remember that things are going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ~Ruthy, 12, MI
Dear FluffyPuppy0718, almost all tweens, and teens feel stress because we go through a lot of changes and deal with unexpected issues every day. In this case, the occurrence of stress is very common. I would recommend you to read books which can guide you to overcome your stress. There are many books written to handle this phase of life wisely and smartly. ~Udeeta, 12, India
Hi! I’m Hansa though I’m just nine; I know all about emotional rollercoasters. The thing about them is you think you’ll just keep going down and down and that there’s a tear where a heart used to be. But trust me, you’ll soon be dancing in celebration! (If not dancing, maybe singing!)
Oh, and this is how I helped my teen cousin cope with depression:
It was an extremely cold evening, and the sky was blue-blackish. I wore a red sweater and was going up on the roof for a walk. When I got there, I saw a figure with her face buried in her hands. It was my cousin. A little scared, I walked to her. She looked at me and wiped her eyes (which were VERY red). “What are you doing out here without a sweater?” I scolded her. “I can do whatever I want.” She muttered. I smiled. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “None of your business.” She snapped. I bit my lip, then pointed at the moon.
“I’ll tell you a story. Many years ago, the moon was new to the sky. He was sad as he had to leave his family. But what happened, his sadness left scars all around him. Though when he talked about it to all the stars around him, and eventually felt better. The scars remained, but his sadness didn’t, as the stars helped him by telling him how it was gonna be ok and gave him support. The end.
Now, tell me what happened, won’t you?” I asked her. She gave a long sigh. “Fine. My boyfriend dumped me.” She answered. “I don’t feel like life’s worth it anymore.”. “Well, he’s worthless then. I don’t like him already.” I said and made a face. My cousin laughed. “You know what, you’re right. I DON’T CARE FOR HIM!” She shouted cheerfully. She hugged me, and we sat silently under the stars for some time.
I helped my cousin sign in to a dating app the next day. Then I helped her find her future boyfriend- it was quite a long process, but at last, we finally succeeded.
That’s all of my story. I also want to tell you that we all love you VERY MUCH. So does your family. I hope you’re feeling fine. You can always ask us, girls, for advice.
~ Hansa, 9, India
I can tell this is really hard, and I am someone who can have High Levels of Stress. It’s really hard, and it feels like a lot! The number one thing I would recommend would be to make sure that you are out there and staying active. Go for a run with a parent or friend, walk, read, do a sport, etc. The more activity you participate in, the lower your stress will be. It depends on what you are stressed about specifically, but just know that it does go away! It just takes time, but that’s alright and normal. –You got this, and you are an incredible person! Hang in there! ~Mason, 12, OR
Ask a Girl Answered: Overcoming Insecurity and Building Confidence
Ask a Girl Question from Hansa:
Hey, everyone! Hansa here with a question. I have two hobbies: reading and singing, but I’m not confident about them AT ALL. I haven’t told anyone, and NMG is a great place. can you tell me HOW to be…confident? Yeah, it’s a weird question….Bye, love you!
Your Advice for Hansa
Hey Hansa! You are such an incredible person, and reading and singing are so fun! I love both of those hobbies, too, and yes, at one point, I was VERY insecure about that. But what do you care if someone dislikes it? it’s YOUR hobby, and that’s all that matters. The people who are leaders and who stand out are those who aren’t afraid to express themselves. Let your hobbies shine, and shine in that light!
Mason! (Mason, 12, OR)
First of all, reading and singing are super fun and awesome hobbies to have.
How to be confident? Just start by telling family and friends how you love reading and singing. You’ll be sure to find that many of them love the same things!
But to be confident that this is what you really are passionate about, you can try around with other things, too. Maybe you’ll find another hobby, and that’s not wrong. However, it sounds like you really love singing and reading, and maybe you should just stick with it. If you get a lot of joy and feel you are benefiting yourself by doing it – you can be confident that it’s a great hobby/interest for you! I don’t know how helpful all that will be, but remember that we are always here for you, and so are your family and friends. Go tell them about what you love! Wave your flag! Shine your light! BE YOURSELF, and remember that yourself is the best you can possibly be!!! Good luck. <3
Ruthy (Ruthy, 12, MI)
Hey Hansa, hobbies are simply the things which you love doing in your spare time. You don’t ever have to be shy or afraid of sharing your hobbies with others. Hobbies are your choices, and they define you. You don’t have to care about others while being ‘you’ and expressing your feelings, likes, and dislikes. You have to be firm even when you are expressing the weirdest of your thoughts and feelings because these are your personal desires or ideas. Hansa, the next time you have to express your feelings in front of anyone, be confident and remember they are your personal choices; our thoughts make ‘you’ up. If someone mocks you for your feelings, smile and remember that if everyone had their likes and dislikes the same, the world would be too boring to live in. -Udeeta, 12, India
Ask a Girl Answered: Tips for Making Friends in a New School
Ask a Girl Question from Fiona, 10, Canada
Hi! My name is Fiona, and I am going to middle school next year. I am a bit worried about this because I have literally no friends going with me. Everyone from my school is going to a different school, and me? I am going to a huge school that seems a lot harder than my school I am in right now. I was actually taken out of school a few months ago because of Covid-19, so my last few months with my friends and my graduation year are all gone. I am worried I am losing my relationship with my friends because I can’t see them anymore and probably won’t be able to do very much when I am at middle school. Any advice on how to not stress about this? Or how to easily make friends? I really need it.
Your Advice for Fiona
I am just like you in that when I transferred to Middle School, NONE of my friends were there! I was so doubtful until I had already made 3 great friends on the 1st Day of School! Trust me- you’ll make friends very soon and want to know why? Because you are UNIQUE and AWESOME, and people will gravitate toward that! You can try starting conversations like, “Hi! I’m Fiona! What’s your name?” and then, “Oh that’s so cool! Do you want to be friends?”
Good Luck, You Got This and Hugs!!
– Mason (~Mason, 13, OR)
I kind of had a similar experience a couple of years ago. After leaving grade 6, my friends went to grade 7 at the intermediate school, but I actually skipped grades and went to grade 9 at the high school. It was definitely difficult not seeing my friends every day, but we texted, emailed, and facetimed regularly, and set up more out-of-school hangouts. We aren’t quite as close, but I’ve maintained all my close friendships. I would also suggest discussing your worries with your friends and making plans together to stay friends even if you don’t get to see each other as often as you like. In terms of making new friends at your new school, I would suggest joining clubs and teams that are of interest to you, so you can meet people with common interests. I’d also advise (as scary as it may be!) to be the one to approach people you are interested in becoming friends with. If you wait for other people to approach you, you might be waiting the entire year! (This happened to me. It was not fun.) Good luck in middle school! ~Ophelia, 14, Canada
I’m homeschooled, but I take music classes at the public school. I started this year, and what with COVID and virtual school, I was sure I couldn’t make friends, which upset me. But then my orchestra went into these breakout rooms and started doing chamber groups. The first time we met, we were just supposed to socialize. I asked if they liked to read. Turns out, they did, just like I do! And that was how I and the two other people in my group became fast friends!
Making friends is actually a lot easier than it might seem. Just going up to someone and saying “Hi!” is the first step. The thing is, you have to be the one. Waiting for someone to come up may not really work, but once you talk to someone, you’re on the road to a friendship! A good conversation starter is just, “Hi, what’s your name? I’m [name here].”
If you’re in a club or group, or if there are groups broken down in classes, start making friends with these people.
To keep in touch with your old friends, make sure to exchange emails (if possible), and try to keep in touch. You could even become pen pals!
Good luck! -Ruthy, 12, MI
Dear Fiona, though you get separated from your friends physically, you can always get connected with them through online calls, chatting, and phone calls. Once you go to the new school, you will surely make more friends then you will have so many friends (the friends from your earlier school and the friends from this school). Fiona, remember that this is life, and life is full of ups and downs. But when it has to go for a huge downfall, it will also bring a huge uprise. -Udeeta, 12, India
Hi! My name’s Hansa. I’m just 9 and in class 5th, but I know this feeling. You see, it’s the thought of the new school. I can give you advice for new friends. I will tell you a story. You may be thinking, “Huff, Puff! She will tell me a long story with no moral.” But, that’s not true….
On a cold winter in December, I went to a new school. I was all alone and scared because the school was known for its hard studies. One day I was sitting alone at my desk before the class started. I was almost in tears when a girl walked up to me. “What’s wrong?” She asked in a sweet voice. I looked up and saw a kind face. “I- I..” I stammered but couldn’t say anything. “You’re afraid.” She said. I looked up at her, confused. “What?” I asked. “You’re afraid, aren’t you? You’re afraid you won’t pass, you’re afraid no one will like you. You’re afraid you will be all alone, forever.” She answered, putting her shoulder around me. Normally I would be a grumpy old dwarf and pull myself away, but she was so sweet. We just sat there without saying a word. Later on days, she became my best friend, and her name was Kamakshi. We laughed and had amazing times. Now you must be saying, “But now I can’t meet my friends cause of coronavirus.” I feel you! I hope you can get in touch by calling and chatting and all. You’ll get friends just like I did, well not so weirdly, but still. You can tell me ANYTHING! I am always at New Moon Girls. Well, so are others. And as for studies, Fiona, You are a warrior. Chin up, warrior. You’re an amazing girl. -Hansa, 9, India
Do you have a question for Ask a Girl?
Ask a Girl Answered: Overcoming Anxiety About Starting Middle School
Ask a Girl Question from Scared, 10, NY
I’m going to middle school next year. This may sound kind of childish, but I’m sort of scared. I feel like I’m not even going to make it through the year. Do you have any advice for me?
Your Advice for Scared
Don’t worry. It seems really scary at first, the first day of school, when you meet all of the teachers and students you will realize it isn’t that bad. I mean the work might be harder when you get into middle school, but it isn’t that scary. If you’re scared, then just take a deep breath and know that you’re gonna make it through this. You are gonna make new friends. Good luck in middle school (when you get to middle school, the teachers stop treating you like a baby, BTW lol) -Adeline, 12, DE
Dear Scared, You don’t have to be so scared of going to a middle school. When we think about something, it seems to be very hard and frightening but when we are doing that task, it seems to be much easier. Don’t worry about your studies so much. You will be able to study with ease. Scared, you just have to remember that if anything wrong happens with you at school, you have inform about it to your parents or any elder who can help you out of the situation. -Udeeta, 12, India
I am in 7th Grade, so last year was my first year. I was really nervous, but I can promise you, it’s so fun! You have the option to be so responsible, and I felt like an adult! The nice thing about Middle School, too is the large amount of students YOUR age and how many new friends you can make! In Middle School, I feel like things are a bit more relaxed than in Elementary School, and I promise you, a TON of people would agree! Just know YOU GOT THIS. YOU are amazing! You are so smart and talented, and your middle school teachers and peers will soon be able to see that!
Mason! (Mason, 12, OR)
Advice from Other Girls: How They Dealt with Feeling Invisible and Puberty
Ask a Girl Question from Brianna, 11, USA
Sometimes I feel invisible during class, in a family of 4, at a camp, anywhere really. It’s starting to get on my nerves. I don’t know what to do… I also have another problem, I started puberty not so long ago, and I’m a little scared if I get my period at school.
Your Advice for Brianna
First of all, I want to say: That sounds really hard, and I’m so sorry! I used to be bullied at my old school, and I felt the same way. No one was my friend for no reason, and I felt like a ghost. ALL. THE. TIME. I started to get sick of it, and I soon felt bad. But, I soon hung out with friends outside of school, and started to practice my confidence. This helped me so much, and now, I don’t feel like a ghost! As for your puberty worries, don’t worry! Many girls get their periods in… well…. places they don’t want to. But talk to your mom about staying prepared at school, and she’ll walk you through how to take care of it if it happens and what to bring in case of an emergency. Best Wishes! ~Mason, 12, OR
I’m the youngest in my family of five, and I’ve often felt invisible with friends and family. What I tend to find is that they don’t intend it, and if you turn to them and say, “I sometimes feel like you’re ignoring me,” they’ll try harder. Say it in a lighthearted way, so you don’t seem mad at them. As for your period, remember you can always make a (temporary) pad out of toilet paper folded up thick. I got my period recently, and it wasn’t too bad. It might shake you up a bit at first, but just take a couple deep breaths. Good luck! ~Ruthy, 12, MI
I’m sorry! With the feeling invisible thing…. talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Join a team or group. Talk and make people listen to you. And about the period… I haven’t gotten mine yet either, and I’m scared of the same thing. But just carry pads/tampons around with you and tell your teacher if you feel comfortable doing so. ~Moonbear, 12, CA
Dear Brianna, you don’t have to worry about periods. It is a totally natural phenomenon. You just have to carry a sanitary pad and make sure that you tell your class teacher if you feel anything wrong. ~Udeeta, 12, India
Advice from Young Authors: How They Overcome Writing Challenges and Writer’s Block
Ask a Girl Question from Hansa, 9, India:
Hi! Um.. I like to umm… write stories about adventure. I mean, they don’t get published, but I like doing that. And, for many days, I just don’t get good ideas. People tell me it shouldn’t be perfect, but… I really want it to be. I-I wanna post my stories on the net, get some fans and maybe even win a competition. I want to be something. I want to be remembered for my books. But it’s like I’m falling into an abyss of nothing. Can you help me, please?
Your Advice for Hansa
I write fantasy and adventure stories, and I totally know how you feel. For feeling like your writing needs to be perfect, I would ask someone to give you feedback. It helps point out things that need to be changed, and positive feedback can motivate you to keep going. Also, looking for writing contests with a parent is a good way to get published.
As for ‘falling into an abyss of nothing,’ try reading a book written by someone else. Really pay attention to how the plot works together and how the author words things. Write down the things you do and don’t like about it. Writing down things you like about the book can get your creative juices flowing, and finding mistakes in another person’s story can prevent you from making the same mistakes. Another strategy is just to write down all your thoughts on a piece of paper. You could write about your day, write a friend a letter, or write a mini-story that makes no sense. Anything works. Just write!
And once I do get an idea, I find it helpful to write at least one sentence daily, even if I have no idea what to write next. Most times, when I write one sentence, it’s a hundred times easier to think of what to write next.
I hope this helps, and good luck! ~Luna, 11, PA
That happens to me, too. I also really like to write adventure stories. I also want to be an author and be known for my books. And I totally get how people say it doesn’t have to be perfect when you really want it to be perfect. I will have a story idea and then begin writing; before I know it I have written the beginning about three different times because the other beginnings weren’t exactly what I wanted them to be.
My advice to you is to let ideas come to you, that’s what the author Kate DiCamillo does, and sometimes I’ll just come up with a story idea out of nowhere. Or begin with some characters and start to write a story; ideas may come to you that way as well, Sometimes I will write down some characters and start writing a plan for what will happen in my story, a light bulb can occasionally turn on in my head, and I start to get ideas for my stories. What if this person is secretly _____? Then they meet____. If this doesn’t work for you, though, that’s totally okay. –Bea, 11, MN
Hi, Hansa. When I read that, it all felt so, so familiar. I love writing stories so much – writing is pretty much my life! But I badly want to win competitions, publish books, and more. My advice? Send stories to NMG! It’s an excellent way to try to get published. Keep trying, and keep sending stuff in. Plus, libraries, etc., often have contests you can enter.
As for falling into an abyss of nothing? Just reading that sentence tells me you’re a good writer! I love the way you described it, and it explains how pretty much every writer sometimes feels. Just go with the flow. If something comes to mind, start writing! And fanfiction is a good way to have something to start with if you can’t think of a starter.
You don’t need fame to be an amazing author. I know that doesn’t necessarily feel that good, but I just want to tell you. Writing is about YOU, and if you enjoy writing, then keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just keep trying. I have faith that someday you will achieve your dream. – Ruthy, 12, MI
(I’m a passionate author who dreams of publishing books. It’s my biggest dream. When I saw Hansa’s letter, I related so strongly, and I immediately felt compelled to respond, if only to say that there are other girls out there fighting through the same thing she is.)Dear Hansa, you should ask various friends and relatives to read your write-up and give suggestions. Once various people review your stories, you will know what people like to read, and according to that, you can make changes and write more stories. You can also ask your teachers for advice. In this way, though it might take some time, your write-ups will become ‘perfect.’ And yes, in the search for good topics, you should spend time alone and be observant. Hansa, I am sure that your stories will get selected by some magazine one day, and when it’s published, do not forget to share them with us! –Udeeta, 12, India
I’ve had writer’s block many times! One thing that helps me is taking a walk (anywhere!) to get inspiration. Even walking through my kitchen can spark an idea! -Christine, 10, NY
Hey Hansa! I have been in the SAME EXACT position before! Let’s start with the perfect part: If you really want it to be perfect, why not ask a few friends or family to read your story? They can give you advice and tell you what they think! Some great places to post stories is on [#NoteFromModeratorAutumn – the website name and link was removed because a lot of this site’s content is not for the 8 to 14 age group of New Moon Girls]. -Brianna, 11, USA
I know how you feel- I’m an aspiring writer, and many days I want to be widely known as a famous author. But, the thing you have to remember is that the only way you can succeed is to believe you can! Trust yourself, and you do, too! Want to write about a fire-breathing dragon who kidnaps a group of princesses? Go for it! Soon enough, you’ll find that many people enjoy and appreciate your special talent for writing. -Mason, 12, OR
Ask a Girl: Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination
Ask a Girl Question from Procrastinating, 12, Uzbekistan:
I’ve been struggling with procrastination a lot lately. I always feel like there is something better to do, or I’m just not in the mood to do homework. I get so many school assignments each week that I’m overwhelmed. Can I have some advice, please? -Procrastinating, 12, Uzbekistan
Your Advice for Procrastinating:
Procrastinating is super difficult to deal with and is often very frustrating. But, really think about the task you have to complete, and when you do think about it will impact you and serve a good purpose in your life. Also, try to have a To-Do List with all of the tasks you need to do, and afterward, you’ll be done! I also recommend using this kind of thinking: Now and Then. For example: Now, I have to do Math Homework. Later, I can bake a Lemon Cake. Think of fun activities you can do afterward. Best Wishes! ~Mason, 12, OR
Dear Procrastinating, I totally know how you feel! One solution is to take breaks. You could do an assignment for some time, then do something you enjoy! Just make sure it doesn’t distract you from your work. This may help you persevere through your work! -Christine, 10, NY
Dear Procrastinating, I, too, struggled with procrastination, but only last year I realized that procrastination could cause me to lose many good opportunities in life. So, I wrote motivational quotes on the front page of my notebooks and also on the walls of my studying room. I also started to listen to motivational songs each morning. This helped me a lot, and I would advise you too to try the same. I think this would help in your case too. -Udeeta, 12, India
Dear Procrastinating, Wow, do I relate! Having a parent remind you about your work actually helps. And I recommend asking parents or siblings to help with the homework itself, too. Having it explained by a real person makes everything infinitely easier. I’ll look at a math problem and think, “I can’t do this.” Then, with a parent’s help, I’ll get it in five minutes!
Try to make work more enjoyable. For instance, do it while listening to your favorite music (maybe not lyrical, though, you may end up singing along!). Or do it outside when the weather is nice. Try to work towards a goal, such as deciding to finish all your homework in one subject. Simplifying your work by just doing it subject by subject helps to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Good luck! <3 -Ruthy, 12, MI