Ask a Girl
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Advice by girls, for girls. Ask your tough questions. Get advice from other girls your age. Questions and answers appear here after they are reviewed by a moderator. And remember: some questions and answers are chosen for each issue of New Moon Girls Magazine!!!
New Question from Dah1Girl, 11, USA
Hello Dah1Girl here. I am starting middle school next year and Im afraid of the shorts! Gymnophobia. It is the fear of showing skin. And I wouldn’t say Im the skinny type of girl. So what do I really do. Im confused please help me. Love y’all ~Dah1Girl, 11, USA
Your Advice for Dah1Girl
Hi! Hansa here! You know, when I first wore skirts, I didn’t like them at all. I used to wear pants all the time. When summer came, It got SO hot and I had to wear skirts! I realized I don’t have to be afraid to show my skin, because it was a part of ME! So, take a deep breath, and face this fear! Trust me, At the end of the day you’ll have a smile on your face! ~Hansa, 9, India
You certainly should not need to wear shorts. If it’s requested of you, ask a parent or trusted adult to talk to the school administration, explaining your discomfort. Revealing clothing make me a bit uncomfortable too, and I always wear skirts or something. Dress however you feel safe and comfortable – girls should never be pressured to wear shorts and other revealing clothing! ~Ruthy, 12, MI
I will advice you to tell your parents or guardian about your problem. They’ll surely help you out. You may visit a doctor and [learn ways] to keep your anxiety in control. Your guardian can also write an application to your school which will make the teacher understand about your problem and will surely consider. ~Udeeta, 12, India
Hi Girls! I know this question was kind of already asked, but I have to ask. I am feeling stressed out, and it’s REALLY hard. Any advice? Hugs! ~Mason, 13, OR
Your Advice for Mason
Hey, Mason! Sorry If I’m answering kind of late, but that’s my fault cause I didn’t check Ask-a-girl. Anyway, you know what I do when I’m stressed out? I take a deep breath and think why, why am I stressed out? And I would recommend talking to your family member, your friend, etc. You never know, it can really help! –I’d also like to say that I was stressed out when I first started writing poems. But I remembered that my family, my friends, you all at NMG are rooting for me, so I wrote one! It was about covid-19. So, whenever you’re under pressure, remember that we all are cheering for you!
I hope you’re feeling okay,
~Hansa, 9, India
[See my response to FluffyPuppy0718 for other advice]
I think your last word might be a good helper. ‘Hugs!’ you said. Hugs are actually great when I feel stressed, particularly from a parent or giving one to my dogs.
Just being able to hug someone and relax, and feel loved, is a good step to feeling less stressed.
This is a stressful time. No one can deny it. Spend time on the things you love to do, whether that be reading or cooking or gardening or something else entirely.
Stress is difficult, and it’s hard to relax. I recommend trying meditating, or listening to music. Another tip is to lie down on a bed or couch, and just try to let go. Spend time not doing anything, and spend some time doing things you enjoy.
It’ll be okay. We’re all here, and we all care about you! <3 good luck!!!!! *Hugs* ~Ruthy, 12, MI
FluffyPuppy0718, 12, OR Asks:
I’ve been feeling really stressed out lately, and I honestly don’t even know why. I’ve tried to use coping mechanisms but they just aren’t doing it. I get that being a tween includes this kind of emotional roller coaster, but how does it get better? When does it get better? Girls, I hope you can help! I’m really having a difficult time… ~FluffyPuppy0718, 12, OR
Your Advice for FluffyPuppy0718
Hi, Stress is something that, as you said, a lot of tweens experience. And not everything works for everyone. Try around. Do things like taking deep breaths, chilling with a book, listening to music, reading through stuff on NMG (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!), writing in a journal. Figure out what you find comforting, and remember that things are going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ~Ruthy, 12, MI
Dear FluffyPuppy0718, almost all tweens and teens feel stress because we go through a lot of changes and deal with unexpected issues everyday. In this case, occurance of stress is very common. I would recommend you to read books which can guide you overcome your stress. There are many books written to handle this phase of life wisely and smartly. ~Udeeta, 12, India
Hi! I’m Hansa though I’m just nine, I know all about emotional rollercoasters. The thing about them is you think you’ll just keep going down and down, and that there’s a tear where a heart used to be. But, trust me, you’ll soon be dancing in celebration! (If not dancing, may be singing!) Oh, and this is how I helped my teen cousin cope with depression:
It was a extremely cold evening and the sky was blue-blackish. I wore a red sweater, and was going up on the roof for a walk. When I got there, I saw a figure with her face buried in her hands. It was my cousin. A little scared, I walked to her. She looked at me and wiped her eyes (which were VERY red). “What are you doing out here without a sweater?” I scolded her. “I can do whatever I want.” She muttered. I smiled. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “None of your business.” She snapped. I bit my lip, then pointed at the moon. “I’ll tell you a story. Many years ago, the moon was new to the sky. He was sad as he had to leave his family. But what happened, his sadness left scars all around him. Though when he talked about it to all the stars around him, and eventually felt better. The scars remained, but his sadness didn’t, as the stars helped him by telling him how it was gonna be ok and gave him support. The end. Now, tell me what happened, won’t you?” I asked her. She gave a long sigh. “Fine. My boyfriend dumped me.” She answered. “I don’t feel like life’s worth it anymore.”. “Well, he’s worthless then. I don’t like him already.” I said and made a face. My cousin laughed. “You know what, you’re right. I DON’T CARE FOR HIM!” She shouted cheerfully. She hugged me and for some time, we sat silently under the stars. The next day, I helped my cousin sign in to a dating app. Then I helped her find her future boyfriend- it was quite a long process but at the last we finally succeeded.
That’s all of my story. I also want to tell you that we all love you VERY MUCH. So does your family. I hope you’re feeling fine. You can always ask us girls for advice.
~ Hansa, 9, India
I can tell this is really hard, and I am someone who can have High Levels of Stress. It’s really hard, and it feels like a lot! But, the number one thing I would recommend would be to make sure that you are out there, and staying active. Go for a run with a parent or friend, walk, read, do a sport, etc. The more activity you participate in, the lower your stress will be. It really depends on what you are stressed out about specifically but just know that ie does go away! It just takes time, but that’s alright and normal. –You got this, and you are an incredible person! Hang in there! ~Mason, 12, OR
Hansa, 9, India Asks:
Hey, everyone! Hansa here, with a question. You see, I have two hobbies: reading and singing, but I’m not confident about it AT ALL. I haven’t told anyone, and NMG is a great place. can you tell me HOW to be…confident? Yeah, it’s a weird question….Bye, love you!
Your Advice for Hansa
Hey Hansa! You are such an incredible person, and reading and singing are so fun! I love both of those hobbies, too, and yes, at one point I was VERY insecure about that. But, what do you care if someone dislikes it? it’s YOUR hobby, and that’s all that matters. The people who are leaders and who stand out are those who aren’t afraid to express themselves. Let your hobbies shine, and shine in that light!
Mason! (Mason, 12, OR)
First of all, reading and singing are super fun, and awesome hobbies to have.
How to be confident? Just start by telling family and friends how you love reading and singing. You’ll be sure to find that many of them love the same things!
But to be confident that this is what you really are passionate about, you can try around with other things, too. Maybe you’ll find another hobby, and that’s not wrong. However, it sounds like you really love singing and reading, and maybe you should just stick with it. If you get a lot of joy and feel you are benefiting yourself by doing it – you can be confident that it’s a great hobby/interest for you!I don’t know how helpful all that will be, but remember that we are always here for you, and so is your family and friends. Go tell them about what you love! Wave your flag! Shine your light! BE YOURSELF, and remember that yourself is the best you can possibly be!!! Good luck. <3
Ruthy (Ruthy, 12, MI)
Hey Hansa, hobbies are simply the things which you love doing in your spare time. You don’t ever have to be shy or afraid of sharing about your hobbies with others. Hobbies are your choices and they define you. You don’t have to care about others while being ‘you’ and expressing your feelings, likes and dislikes. You have to be firm even when you are expressing weirdest of you thoughts and feelings because these are your personal desires or ideas. Hansa, from the next time you have to express your feelings in front of anyone, be confident and remember they are your personal choices, our thoughts make ‘you’ up. If someone mocks you for your feelings smile and remember that if everyone had their likes and dislikes the same, the world will be too boring to live in. -Udeeta, 12, India
New Question from Fiona, 10, Canada
Hi! My name is Fiona and I am going to middle school next year and I am a bit worried about this because I have literally no friends going with me. Everyone from my school is going to a different school and me? I am going to a huge school that seems a lot harder then my school I am in right now. I was actually taken out of school a few months ago because of Covid-19 so my last few months with my friends and my gradation year are all gone. I am worried I am losing my relationship with my friends because I can’t see them anymore and probably won’t be able to very much when I am at middle school. Any advice on how to not stress about this? Or how to easily make friends? I really need it
Your Advice for Fiona
I am actually just like you, in the way that when I transferred to Middle School, NONE of my friends were there! I was so doubtful, until I had already made 3 great friends on the 1st Day of School! Trust me- you’ll make friends very soon and you want to know why? Because you are UNIQUE and AWESOME, and people will gravitate towards that! You can try starting conversations like, “Hi! I’m Fiona! What’s your name?” and then, “Oh that’s so cool! Do you want to be friends?”
Good Luck, You Got This, and Hugs!!
– Mason (~Mason, 13, OR)
I kind of had a similar experience a couple years ago. After leaving grade 6, my friends went to grade 7 at the intermediate school, but I actually skipped grades and went to grade 9 at the high school. It was definitely difficult not seeing my friends every day, but we texted, emailed, and facetimed regularly, and set up more out-of-school hangouts. We aren’t quite as close, but I’ve maintained all my close friendships. I would also suggest discussing your worries with your friends, and making plans together to stay friends even if you don’t get to see each other as often as you like. In terms of making new friends at your new school, I would suggest joining clubs and teams that are of interest to you, so you can meet people with common interests. I’d also advise (as scary as it may be!) to be the one to approach people you are interested in becoming friends with. If you wait for other people to approach you, you might be waiting the entire year! (This happened to me. It was not fun.) Good luck in middle school! ~Ophelia, 14, Canada
I’m homeschooled, but I take music classes at the public school. I started this year, and what with COVID and virtual school, I was sure I couldn’t make friends, which upset me. But then my orchestra went into these breakout rooms and started doing chamber groups. The first time we met, we were just supposed to socialize. I asked if they liked to read. Turns out, they did, just like I do! And that was how me and the two other people in my group became fast friends!
Making friends is actually a lot easier than it might seem. Just going up to someone and saying “Hi!” is the first step. The thing is, you have to be the one. Waiting for someone to come up may not really work, but once you talk to someone, you’re on the road to a friendship! A good conversation starter is just, “Hi, what’s your name? I’m [name here].”
If you’re in a club or group, or if there are groups broken down in classes, start making friends with these people.
To keep in touch with your old friends, make sure to exchange emails (if possible), and try to keep in touch. You could even become pen pals!
Good luck! -Ruthy, 12, MI
Dear Fiona, though you get separated from your friends physically, you can always get connected with them through online calls, chatting and phone calls. Once you go to the new school, you will surely make more friends then you will have so many friends (the friends from your earlier school and the friends from this school). Fiona remember that this is life and life is full of ups and downs. But when it has to go for a huge down fall, it will also bring a huge up rise. -Udeeta, 12, India
Hi! My name’s Hansa I’m just 9 and in class 5th, but I know this feeling. You see, it’s the thought of the new school. I can give you advice for new friends. I will tell you a story. You may be thinking “Huff, Puff! She will tell me a long story with no moral.” But, that’s not true….
On a cold winter in December, I had gone to a new school. I was all alone and scared because the school was known for it’s hard studies. One day I was sitting alone on my desk before the class started. I was almost in tears when a girl walked up to me. “What’s wrong?” She asked in a sweet voice. I looked up and saw a kind face. “I- I..” I stammered, but couldn’t say anything. “You’re afraid.” She said. I looked up at her, confused. “What?” I asked. “You’re afraid, aren’t you? You’re afraid you won’t pass, you’re afraid no one will like you. You’re afraid you will be all alone, forever.” She answered, putting her shoulder around me. Normally I would be a grumpy old dwarf and pull myself away, but she was so sweet. We just sat there without saying a word. Later on days, she became my best friend, and her name was Kamakshi. We laughed and had amazing times. Now you must be saying “But now I can’t meet my friends cause of corona virus.” I feel you! I hope you can get in touch by calling and chatting and all. You’ll get friends just like I did, well not so weirdly, but still. You can tell me ANYTHING! I am always at new moon. Well, so are others. And as for studies, Fiona, You are a warrior. Chin up, warrior. You’re an amazing girl. -Hansa, 9, India
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Question from Scared, 10, NY
I’m going to middle school next year. This may sound kind of childish, but I’m sort of scared. I feel like I’m not even going to make it through the year. Do you have any advice for me?
Your Advice for Scared
Don’t worry, It seems really scary at first the first day of school when you meet all of the teachers and students you will realize it isn’t that bad, i mean the work might be harder when you get into middle school but it isn’t that scary, if your scared then just take a deep breath and know that you’re gonna make it through this, you are gonna make new friends. Good luck in middle school (when you get to middle school the teachers stop treating you like a baby BTW lol) -Adeline, 12, DE
Dear Scared, you don’t have to be so scared of going into a middle school. When we think about something, it seems to be very hard and frightening but when we are doing that task, it seems to be much easier. Don’t worry about your studies so much you will be able to study with ease. Scared, you just have to remember that if anything wrong happens with you at school, you have inform about it to your parents or any elder who can help you out of the situation. -Udeeta, 12, India
I am in 7th Grade, so last year was my first year. I was really nervous, but I can promise you, it’s so fun! You have the option to be so responsible, and I felt like an adult! The nice thing about Middle School, too is the large amount of students YOUR age and how many new friends you can make! In Middle School, I feel like things are a bit more relaxed than in Elementary School and I promise you, a TON of people would agree! Just know YOU GOT THIS and YOU are amazing! You are so smart and talented, and your middle school teachers and peers will soon be able to see that!
Mason! (Mason, 12, OR)
New Question from Brianna, 11, USA
Sometimes i feel invisible during class, in a family of 4, at a camp, anywhere really. It’s starting to get on my nerves. I don’t know what to do……… I also have another problem, I started puberty not so long ago and i’m a little scared if i get my period at school…..
Your Advice for Brianna
Hi Brianna! First of all, I want to say: That sounds really hard and I’m so sorry! I used to be bullied at my old school, and I felt the same way. No one was my friend for no reason, and I felt like a ghost. ALL. THE. TIME. I started to get sick of it, and I soon felt bad. But, I soon hung out with friends outside of school, and started to practice my confidence. This helped me so much, and now, I don’t feel like a ghost! As for your puberty worries, don’t worry! Many girls get their periods in… well…. places they don’t want to. But, talk to your mom about staying prepared at school, and she’ll walk you through how to take care of it if it happens, and what to bring in case of emergency. Best Wishes! ~Mason, 12, OR
Hey, Brianna! I’m the youngest in my family of five, and I’ve often felt invisible with friends and family. What I tend to find is that they don’t intend it, and if you turn to them and say, “I sometimes feel like you’re ignoring me,” they’ll try harder. Say it in a lighthearted way, so you don’t seem mad at them. As for your period, remember you can always make a (temporary) pad out of toilet paper folded up thick. I got my period recently, and it wasn’t too bad. It might shake you up a bit at first, but just take a couple deep breaths. Good luck! ~Ruthy, 12, MI
I’m sorry! With the feeling invisible thing…. talk to someone about how your feeling. Join a team or group. Talk and make people listen to you. And about the period… I haven’t gotten mine yet either, and I’m scared of the same thing. But just carry pads/tampons around with you and tell your teacher if you feel comfortable doing so. ~Moonbear, 12, CA
Dear Brianna, you don’t have to worry about periods. It is a totally natural phenomenon. You just have to carry a sanitary pad and make sure that you tell your class teacher if you feel anything wrong. ~Udeeta, 12, India
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New Question from Hansa, 9, India:
Hi! Um.. I like to umm… write stories about adventure. I mean, they don’t get published but I like doing that. And, for many days I just don’t get good ideas. People tell me it shouldn’t be perfect, but… I really want it to be. I-I wanna post my stories on the net, get some fans and maybe even win a competition. I want to be something, I want to be remembered for my books. But it’s like I’m falling into an abyss of nothing. Can you help me, please?
Your Advice for Hansa
I write fantasy and adventure stories and I totally know how you feel. For feeling like your writing needs to be perfect, I would ask someone to give you feedback. It helps point out things that need to be changed, and positive feedback can motivate you to keep going. Also, looking for writing contests with a parent is a good way to get published.
As for ‘falling into an abyss of nothing’, try reading a book written by someone else. Really pay attention to how the plot works together and how the author words things. Write down the things you do and don’t like about it. Writing down things you like about the book can get your creative juices flowing, and finding mistakes in another person’s story can prevent you from making the same mistakes. Another strategy is to just write down all your thoughts on a piece of paper. You could write about your day, write a friend a letter, or write a mini story that makes no sense. Anything works, just write!
And once you do get an idea, I find it really helpful to write at least one sentence a day, even if I have no idea what to write next. most times when I write one sentence, its a hundred times easier to think of what to write next.
I hope this helps, and good luck! ~Luna, 11, PA
That happens to me too, I also really like to write adventure stories I want to be an author and be known for my books as well. And I totally get how people say it doesn’t have to be perfect when you really want it to be perfect. I will have a story idea and then begin writing, before I know it I have written the beggining about three different times because the other begginings weren’t exactly what I wanted them to be. My advice to you is to let ideas come to you, that’s what the author Kate DiCamillo does and sometimes I’ll just come up with a story idea out of nowhere. Or begin with some characters and start to write a story, ideas may come to you that way as well, Sometimes I will write down some characters and start writing a plan for what will happen in my story, a light bulb can occasionally turn on in my head and I start to get ideas for my stories. What if this person is secretly _____? Then they meet____. If this doesn’t work for you though, that’s totally okay. -Bea, 11, MN
Hi, Hansa. When I read that, it all felt so, so familiar. I love writing stories so much – writing is pretty much my life! But I badly want to win competitions; publish books, and more. My advice? Send stories to NMG! It’s an excellent way to try to get published. Keep trying, and keep sending stuff in. Plus, libraries, etc., often have contests you can enter.
As for falling into an abyss of nothing? Just reading that sentence tells me you’re a good writer! I love the way you described it, and it explains how pretty much every writer sometimes feels. Just go with the flow. If something comes to mind, start writing! And fanfiction is a good way to have something to start with, if you can’t think of a starter.
You don’t need fame to be an amazing author. I know that doesn’t necessarily feel that good, but I just want to tell you. Writing is about YOU, and if you enjoy writing, then keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just keep trying. I have faith that someday you will achieve your dream. – Ruthy, 12, MI (I’m a passionate author, who dreams of publishing books. It’s my biggest dream. When I saw Hansa’s letter, I related so strongly, and I immediately felt compelled to respond, if only to say that there are other girls out there fighting through the same thing she is.)
Dear Hansa, you should ask various friends and relatives to read your write up and give suggestions. Once, various people review your stories, you will know what people like to read and according to that you can make changes and write more stories. You can also ask your teachers for advice. In this way, though it might take some time, your write ups will become ‘perfect’. And yes, for the search of good topics, you should spend time alone and be an observant. Hansa, I am sure that your stories will get selected by some magazine one day and when its published, do not forget to share with us! -Udeeta, 12, India
I’ve had writers block many times! One thing that helps me is to take a walk (anywhere!) to get some inspiration. Even walking through my kitchen can spark an idea! -Christine, 10, NY
Hey Hansa! I have been in the SAME EXACT position before! Let’s start with the perfect part: If you really want it to be perfect why not ask a few friends or family to read your story? They can give you advice and what they think! Some great places to post stories is on [#NoteFromModeratorAutumn – the website name and link was removed because a lot of this site’s content is not for the 8 to 14 age group of New Moon Girls]. -Brianna, 11, USA
I know how you feel- I’m an aspiring writer and many days I want to be widely known as a famous author. But, the thing you have to remember is that the only way you can succeed is to believe you can! Trust yourself, and you do do! Want to write about a fire breathing dragon who kidnaps a group of princesses? Go for it! Soon enough, you’ll find that many people enjoy and appreciate your special talent for writing. -Mason, 12, OR
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Question from Procrastinating, 12, Uzbekistan:
I’ve been struggling with procrastination a lot lately. I always feel like there is something better to do, or I’m just not in the mood for doing homework. I get so many school assignments each week that I’m overwhelmed. Can I have some advice please? -Procrastinating, 12, Uzbekistan
Your Advice for Procrastinating:
Procrastinating is super difficult to deal with, and is often very frustrating. But, really think about the task you have to complete, and when you do think about it will impact you and serve a good purpose in your life. Also, try to have a To-Do List with all of the tasks you need to do, and afterwards, you’ll be done! I also recommend using this kind of thinking: Now and Then. For ex. Now, I have to do Math Homework. Later, I can bake a Lemon Cake. Think of fun activities you can do afterwards. Best Wishes! ~Mason, 12, OR
Dear Procrastinating, I totally know how you feel! One solution is to take breaks. You could do an assignment for some time, then do something you enjoy! Just make sure it doesn’t distract you from your work. This may help you persevere through your work! -Christine, 10, NY
Dear Procrastinating, I too struggled with procrastination but a the last year only I realized that procrastination can lose many good opportunities in life. So, I wrote motivational quotes on the front page of my notebooks and also on the walls of my studying room. I also started to listen to motivational songs each morning. This helped me a lot and I would advice you too to try the same. I think this would help in your case too. -Udeeta, 12, India
Dear Procrastinating, Wow, do I relate! Having a parent remind you about your work actually helps. And I recommend asking parents or siblings to help with the homework itself, too. Having it explained by a real person makes everything infinitely easier. I’ll look at a math problem and think “I can’t do this.” Then, with a parent’s help, I’ll get it in five minutes!
Try to make work more enjoyable. For instance, do it while listening to favorite music (maybe not lyrical, though, you may end up singing along!). Or do it outside when the weather is nice. Try to work towards a goal, such as deciding to finish all your homework in one subject. Simplifying your work by just doing it subject by subject helps to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Good luck! <3 -Ruthy, 12, MI